We’re working in the root chakra this week in the Chakra Healing Course.
This chakra is all about family connections, a sense of security, and all the early programming that tells you who you are and how you fit into the physical world. There’s so much to the chakra system, the elements, the doshas, the archetypes, and the vibration of sound. And the symbolism is deeply meaningful. In the course, everyone’s getting all of that information in the workbook.
The primary objective during the programming of the muladhara chakra is for you to develop healthy self esteem and a sense personal strength.
But this often goes awry. I mean, look around. How many people do you know who never develop from being a dependent child to an adult with a healthy sense of self esteem? We ALL need work in this area. In western society, we see such codependency and narcissism. Those two things are really very connected.
Your sense of being a victim gets in the way of having a healthy self esteem.
Your inner victim entices you to feel sorry for yourself. And that leads you to perceive that you either deserve to have everything or that your life will always be very difficult.
You see, a victim is never held accountable for what they have done – you were a victim after all. It’s not your fault. You were forced. You weren’t in control of the situation. Whatever your inner victim tells you – it’s comfortably reassuring to you when you’re not responsible for something.
This is so important because you MUST take responsibility for everything in your life in order for you to change it. And that can be really hard and really uncomfortable – painful, even.
You have to take ownership of the things you’ve done in the past and the things you do today – that have hurt or will hurt other people and yourself.
Everyone has a bit of the inner victim to some degree. So, if you’re reading this and thinking, “I’m so glad that’s not me. I don’t have this.” Look closer.
Start looking at all the areas in your life that leave you feeling victimized:
Do you give up fast and say I just can’t figure this out? That’s different from asking for help or perhaps hiring someone to take care of the tech things for you. Giving up is when you say, I can’t do this, someone else should do this for me or just quitting entirely.
2. Health habits and addictions:
The victim says, “I have an illness there’s nothing I can do.” But healthy self esteem is acknowledging the illness and taking the steps to alleviate suffering.
Do you say, “These other people are so unreasonable.” Or “all the good men are taken.”
3. Being chronically late:
Time just seems to get away from a victim.
4. Being disorganized:
You might indulge in bad habits, like maybe you don’t a system where you put things away when you’re done with them, or not have a regular place for your keys, your bills, tax paperwork, etc.
But the victim, instead of seeing your role, you blame it on the situation – the house is too small, the other people living here don’t help, there is so much going on you just don’t have time…
5. Standing up for what’s right
You don’t feel secure enough to disagree. Instead, you just freeze.
You don’t have to get into a fight about things, or argue and try to convince people they’re wrong, and you certainly don’t have to express your opinion on Facebook. But when you get a certain feeling inside of you that tells you “this is not ok,” and you don’t say anything – you’re playing the victim.
6. Declaring your boundaries
This is connected to number five, above. Do you allow yourself to be touched when you don’t feel like being touched? Do you remain quiet when you disagree? Do you stay on the phone longer than you want to, go places you don’t want to go, or eat what you don’t want to eat?
7. Do you feel like a victim in conversations?
Instead of asking for clarification about something someone said that could maybe be taken a couple of different ways, do you walk away from conversations asking yourself “what did she mean by THAT?” or do you ask the person, “Hey, can you tell me more about what you mean?” You can just repeat the words the person said and see if they have a different meaning when you hear then again.
When you don’t stand up for yourself, you eventually lose sight of the truth of every situation, and you see yourself as a victim even when you’re not. That’s why you have permission to ask for clarification.
For most of us, this is very deep work and should be done with a mentor or a guide in private. This is where you make yourself seriously accountable for everything in your life. This is where you begin to see yourself as you really are: perfectly imperfect.
You have to look at those parts of yourself that you’re not so proud of and the decisions you made that you might regret or deny. During this process, you have to face any of the shame, anger, fear, and disappointment that comes up. And it’s just not that easy. You know? This is where the real work is, though. Even though everyone wants to bypass this – my clients know that this is an ongoing process that we do, a little bit at a time. And you approach it with all the love and forgiveness that you have in your heart.
Once you’ve sifted through the past, you’ll see how you’ve gotten yourself into the situation you’re currently dealing with, whatever it is. And you’ll see clearly that you have to maintain the sense of being an observer of your own actions and feelings – and every day you’ll be asking yourself the questions – is this serving my highest good?
Being passive in your life is self-victimization. This inner victim, if it’s not addressed, will also victimize others. That’s because it’s an immature version of you.
One of my clients asked me once, what about a flood, or a lightening strike. Is it ok to be a victim, if something out of your control happens or are you taking responsibility for all of those things, too?
You can’t control EVERYTHING. The weather, the traffic, the escaped convict that breaks into your home… (Gosh, we had a guy in our area who escaped from the police, and I’m still walking around everywhere with my holster on and my weapon on hand. I’m not afraid, but I AM prepared. They still haven’t caught him.)
Through developing healthy self esteem – you will cultivate the awareness of your own powerful security forces. You’ll feel like you are responsible for making sure you have surge protectors (for instance) in case of power surges during a storm, or noticing and taking appropriate action when you feel unsafe in certain circumstances. When you don’t follow your intuition in these cases, when your body is telling you not to trust someone, you push down your own security forces and allow the victim to rule.
Everything in the universe is part of the Divine. And that’s why we are working to cultivate an awareness of seeing the sacred that is in all beings. Mother Teresa used to say that could see the face of Christ in everyone she served.
If your inner victim is still in the shadow:
You’ll avoid conflict.
You’ll believe life is harder for you than anyone else.
You’ll feel sorry for yourself and stop trying.
If you take a look at your inner victim, it can help you:
Get TRUE confidence
When you keep the inner victim in the shadows, it can show up as narcissism.
You might feel somehow special and that no one else can possibly know what life is like for you, what’s happening, or how to help. This “specialness” gives you permission to pretend that you know more than you do, and even present yourself as something that you’re not.
Another archetype associated with the root chakra is the prostitute. This has nothing to do with being a sex worker. It has everything to do with what you compromise in exchange for security.