I teach all my clients the law of attraction (AKA the law of magnification)… you know what it is, right? It’s the universal concept that says, “what you think about grows”… it comes from the ancient teaching of yoga that says the world outside of you is a reflection of your internal world.
Sometimes it’s misinterpreted, though. I saw someone ask a Law of Attraction coach how to deal with toxic people.
His answer was something like, “recognize the toxic person in you.”
And, that by itself is not helpful. When you attract an abusive person, it doesn’t mean that you’re an abusive person who attracted another abusive person.
And it doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to stay in the presence of an unkind person and allow them to abuse you with their words or their behaviors. As if you’re receiving punishment for being a bad person.
That’s not quite what the law of attraction is.
Everyone has the capacity for good and evil within.
So, you have to manage your thoughts. And you have to be aware of your emotions.
And develop self control. And avoid suppressing your emotions.
A lot of women IGNORE THE WARNING signs of a narcissist. As well, many empaths enter into and stay in relationships thinking they can CONTROL the abuse and HELP their abuser.
And that makes it a tale of two narcissists and two victims taking turns.
So in the first case, when you refuse to see a person as they are, despite warning signs, and then you’re surprised… you’ve actually participated in the toxic situation.
Let that be a powerful realization for you. When you see it that way, you then have the opportunity to choose something different.
Ignoring the signs is not being true to yourself. It’s denying what you’re feeling and it’s how you betray yourself.
So, even though you’ll want to focus on the positive – don’t ignore what’s right in front of you. Never ignore your feelings.
I think women and men are different in this because when I hear the modern approach to this ancient teaching, it comes across different.
I listen to and read books by men who explain the universal laws in such a way as to imply that people only attract what they ARE.
But think about it.
Sometimes you attract the OPPOSITE. For instance…
I’m a happy person. A morning person – I’m happy all day long. It’s my nature. Or maybe I decided I wanted to be happy, I don’t know. It’s been a long time, so I feel like I’ve always been this way.
But I recognize people who are not happy by nature. I’ve had unhappy moods…
I’m aware of these unhappy people. And sometimes I even attract them to me (maybe it’s my shrieking laughter)… and sometimes they even try to bring me down… I used to pretend not to notice and that would allow them to go further and it would go on too long. So, that’s on ME.
Since I recognize unhappy people, not as bad people, but as less than happy people, I can apply another universal law – from Patanjali – the Four Locks and the Four Keys.
The four locks and four keys are;
Compassion for the unhappy
Disregard for the wicked
Delight for the virtuous
Friendliness toward the happy
These keys have been life changing for me.
See how much easier life can be if you just let everyone be responsible for their own feelings?